A Bushel and a Peck

One of the things I'm learning lately is all the things love is not ... Love is not codependence. Love is not an exchange of displays of affection. Love is not a competition. Love is not a caretaker-victim relationship. Love is not just a feeling. Love is not infatuation. Love is not belonging to someone. Love is not changing myself for someone. Love is not making myself smaller for someone. Love is not wondering what I can do to make someone else feel a certain way about me. Love is not desperately clinging to someone because I'm afraid to be alone. Love is not making someone the center of my universe. Love is not losing myself in someone else. Love is not letting another person carry me. Love is not choosing someone else over God. As I begin to untangle codependence and love, I'm just barely starting to get an idea of what love really is... Love is knowing who I am and what I want. Love is sharing pieces of my heart with people who are...

My armor is full of cracks. Some are large, some small. Some from blows I dealt myself, some from the blows of others. Some just from the blows of life. I often find myself scooping up pieces of my armor that have fallen, to glue them back in place. It seems the pieces tend to loosen up over time and need some attention. There are some pieces that are more prone to loosening and falling out than others. I'm always on the lookout for those. Sometimes, people come knocking - on the parts of my armor that shield my heart, my mind, my soul, my body. Requests are made of me all the time, especially as a parent. Sometimes, these requests come from many directions, all at once. My fragile armor trembles. Pieces fall. I scramble to pick up the pieces while the knocking continues. My heart races as I contemplate the futility of trying to distract people from seeing the weak parts of my Soul as I glue my armor back together, all while they still knock. Most knocks are gentle. S...