Coming into My Own
Perhaps I've been so timid my whole life that people don't believe I can (or even want to) take care of myself. I know I often haven't believed I was capable. I've let other people take care of me because I didn't have confidence in myself. I let them think the way they were supposed to love me was by taking care of me. That's kind of how I learned to receive love in the first place... "You can't take care of yourself, so I'll take care of you. You can't make good decisions, so I'll make them for you. You aren't strong/smart/competent enough to live your life, so I'll tell you how to live. Don't trust yourself, trust me." If I wanted people to love me, I had to stop trusting myself and let them tell me what to do. I had to play dumb and jump through hoops. I had to give up what felt right to me so I could feel "safe" with the people around me. It became a very unhealthy lifestyle, but I didn't know it...