My Secret to Successful Hypnobirthing, Part 1

Photo by Ashlee Schroeppel 

This is Part 1 of 3. Click here for Part 2 and Part 3.

Okay, so what I'm about to share isn't technically a secret, and it's not necessarily a guaranteed ticket to a pain-free labor. However, I somehow managed to miss this both times I took the Hypnobirthing course, so it was somewhat of a surprise to me. And yet, it's really the key to the whole philosophy. Let me explain.

Sweet Boy's birth was an incredible experience. I was able to give birth without any pain medication, which was something I never thought I would be able to do. Even better, I gave birth to the sweetest, most precious little boy I've ever known. He is my son and I am his mommy, forever.

All magical moments aside, my labor with Sweet Boy was also difficult for me. After finishing the Hypnobirthing classes the first time around, I naively expected labor not to hurt at all. (Disclaimer: Hypnobirthing does not promise a pain-free labor, but it does promise that discomfort during labor can be minimal if you have the right mindset and a few helpful skills). I managed to convince myself that I would probably experience some discomfort, but that the things I had learned and practiced would magically banish any real pain. 

Unfortunately, this conviction that I would avoid pain altogether did not serve me well when my labor with Sweet Boy did begin to hurt. I discovered then that I was still terrified of pain, and my fear made me lose focus. I firmly believe my discomfort was double or even triple what it would have been, had I properly learned the little "trick" I discovered a year and a half later. 

When I found out I was pregnant with Baby Girl, I decided to take the Hypnobirthing course a little earlier in the pregnancy than I did with Sweet Boy to give myself ample time to prepare. I was determined to get it "right" this time. Shortly after finishing the course, around 33 weeks into my pregnancy, I woke up in the middle of the night with gas pains. I could barely move without experiencing sharp, stabbing pain across my abdomen. I was scared. I knew exactly what was happening, but the pain still terrified me. I lay on my back for a minute, trying to breathe, realizing that I was going to need to get up if I wanted to do anything about my discomfort. So I very slowly, gingerly, rolled onto my side, trying to breathe through the pain, and rested for a moment. As I lay there, I realized that this pain felt similar to the discomfort I'd felt during labor. I also knew, very clearly, that the gas pains posed no real threat to my body. My pain was not an indication that something was terribly wrong. I knew that moving around would cause no damage to my body. It just hurt, and that sucked, but I would be okay. My discomfort would eventually subside and all would be well.

In that moment, I could see that labor was very similar, only better in a few ways. The pain, pressure, and general discomfort of labor are, for the most part, indicators that something is right. The intense pressure is evidence that my body is doing its job in helping my baby arrive safely. In most cases, no serious damage is done to one's body when giving birth. Labor would likely still hurt, and that sucks, but I knew that I'd be okay. Plus, the reward would not only be an end to the discomfort, but also a precious baby. My baby. Why did I need to be afraid of the pain when it's not only not an indication that something is wrong, but is evidence that something good is happening?

So there I was, lying awkwardly on my side in the dark, having this epiphany in the middle of a terrible bout of gas pain. Once I'd come to the realization that I need not fear the pain, my level of discomfort seemed to drop dramatically. As I relaxed, the gas pains became, almost immediately, half as painful as they had been when I was afraid of them. My fear-induced paralysis was dramatically diminished. I was amazed. I was able to use Hypnobirthing techniques to breathe through the pain and get up. After a while, the pain subsided and I was able to go back to sleep.

After that, my anxiety about giving birth subsided. I knew I could do it, and I knew I could do it with substantially less discomfort than I'd had the first time around. I realized that it would probably still hurt, but I wasn't afraid of the pain anymore. I was ready. But was my newfound perspective really the key to a dramatic change in my birthing experience? Stay tuned for Baby Girl's birth story to find out!

Baby Girl's pregnancy - at 19 weeks, 26 weeks, 29 weeks, and 32 weeks