Our Engagement Story

So, this Friday is Stephen's and my fifth anniversary. I find it interesting that I am both surprised by how much time has passed and almost certain that it's been far longer than five years. These have been the most challenging, frustrating, magnificent, life-changing years of my life. We have both learned more about ourselves in these past five years than we'd ever been willing to face before. And I am so grateful for this wonderful, beautiful person that I get to be with forever. He truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

With that, I thought I'd share the story of how we got engaged. I've never shared it publicly before since it was kind of a surprise, even to us, and so we didn't have any kind of elaborate set-up. Nothing was planned out beforehand. We didn't have a ring or even get a picture of us together that day. But it was still a beautiful day.

September 5, 2008: 

We had made a date to go to the Provo temple to do baptisms for the dead (it's a Mormon thing). We went in, got changed into the proper clothes, and Stephen went to help baptize while I waited in line. The girl just before me in line had the last name "Adams," which struck me for some reason. Maybe because I was hoping to have that last name someday, too. I was a bit silly at that age, and thought things like that were significant. I digress...

After we finished, we met back outside and sat down on a bench to talk. I gave Stephen a little children's book called I Like You, which was supposed to be a late birthday present. A small, red book, it's filled with cute illustrations and different ways to say "I like you." Our favorite line, to this day, is, "If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off, you are one too." He read it, chuckling now and then, and slowly closed it when he finished. We were both quiet for a moment. In that moment, I knew what was coming. 

We had been talking over the summer, while I was back home in Connecticut and Stephen still in Utah, about the possibility of getting married. I was still nervous about the whole thing, as I was only 19 and had always planned to wait until at least my mid-twenties to get married. But I was slowly warming up to the idea. When I flew back out to Utah at the end of August, Stephen drove down to see me at my grandparents' home in southern Utah. He said he just couldn't wait for me to come back up to Provo to see me. During the 10 or so hours he was there, we had a talk with my dad, during which Stephen asked permission to propose to me. My dad was a little shocked (again, me getting married at 19 was kind of a big deal), but he agreed and was happy for us.

The day Stephen drove down to southern Utah to see me...and talk to my dad

Over the next couple of weeks, Stephen would occasionally jokingly ask if I would marry him. I'd always look at him sharply and say, "Are you asking?" (as in, "Are you really asking?") To which he'd hurriedly reply in the negative. He was freaking me out a little, to say the least.

So there we were, sitting outside the temple on a beautiful September day, a few days into the first semester of my sophomore year of college. I knew he was about to ask me again, but this time, I had a feeling it was for real. He shifted a little and turned to me, hesitating slightly. Finally, "Kara, will you marry me?" I looked down, took a deep breath and said, "Are you asking me?" He paused for just a moment, looked into my eyes and said, "Yes." 

I looked down again, collecting my feelings and thoughts to make sure I was ready to answer this question. After a few moments, I looked back up to see him watching me. "Then, yes," I said. "Yes, I will." 

He smiled. I smiled. We both laughed a little. There was a bit of an awkward silence. Finally one of us (I don't remember who) asked, "Well, now what?" 

We thought for a minute and decided we were both hungry. We went to Carl's Jr. for lunch (I know, I'm just killing you all with romance) and talked about how we were going to tell our families. I was a bit light-headed, but I knew it was right. I was so glad that I had agreed to marry my best friend. 

Afterwards, I went to class and tried to act like everything was normal. We didn't tell anyone until the next morning, when I showed my roommates my little fake Walmart ring we'd bought spur-of-the-moment at 2:00 a.m. That afternoon, I called my family and they freaked out a little (mostly in a good way). I don't even remember how we told Stephen's family (feel free to comment and remind me, guys! haha), but they were happy for us too. Stephen got me a real ring, simple but beautiful, a few months later. 

We got married on March 14th (and no, I didn't even remember that it was Pi Day until we were putting together our wedding invitations) the following spring, and here we are, five years and one-and-a-half kids later. Our engagement story isn't very exciting, but it is us: simple, spontaneous, and down to earth. I love this handsome, sometimes stubborn, always supportive, amazing man, and I am so grateful to know that we stand together, come what may.

"Even if it was the nine-hundred-and-ninety-
ninth of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
That’s how it would happen every time
I don't know why

I guess I don't know why I like you really
Why do I like you?
I guess I just like you.
I guess I just like you
Because I like you”

- "I Like You" by Sandol Studdard Warburg