Three Years Ago Today
Three years ago today, Baby Girl was born.
Sweet Boy woke up crying and I went to comfort him. Contractions started at 7 am.
At 8, I woke you up to tell you I thought I was in labor. You mumbled a sleepy reply and grabbed your phone to tell your boss you wouldn't be coming into work today.
At 9, we said goodbye to Sweet Boy and headed to my midwife appointment. She told me I was in labor and I should head to the hospital. We said we were going to get some snacks first. She looked at us like we were crazy. We laughed.
At 10, we went to the grocery store to get some snacks. I stopped every few minutes to relax and breathe through a contraction. We joked around and enjoyed our last little bit of newborn-free time together.
At 11, we were in the hospital. I was getting tired. You talked me through Hypnobirthing scripts to help me relax. You told me I was doing great. You asked me if I needed anything. You told me I could do this. You held my hand. I was glad you were there.
At 12, I quietly told you I was ready to push. You got up and told the nurses I was ready and needed the midwife. Then you came back to my side so I wasn't alone.
By 12:15, I was pushing. My water broke while I pushed and nearly soaked you and the midwife. We all laughed. A few minutes later, I told you I was going to pass out. You and the midwife calmed me down and told me how to breathe. I was scared. You helped me stay sane.
By 12:45, Baby Girl was crowning. I've never been in so much pain in my life. I told you I couldn't do it anymore. You told me I could. You held my hand. You knew I was strong enough even when I felt like I had nothing left to give.
Eleven minutes later, she was born. You made sure she was okay. You made sure I was okay. I had done it, and you were there for me the whole time. You were my safe place.
Three years later, I brought Sweet Boy and Baby Girl to your apartment and left. I've had to find a new safe place - admittedly, a better one, because God is a better safe place than any human ever could be.
But I still miss my old safe place sometimes.
Sweet Boy woke up crying and I went to comfort him. Contractions started at 7 am.
At 8, I woke you up to tell you I thought I was in labor. You mumbled a sleepy reply and grabbed your phone to tell your boss you wouldn't be coming into work today.
At 9, we said goodbye to Sweet Boy and headed to my midwife appointment. She told me I was in labor and I should head to the hospital. We said we were going to get some snacks first. She looked at us like we were crazy. We laughed.
At 10, we went to the grocery store to get some snacks. I stopped every few minutes to relax and breathe through a contraction. We joked around and enjoyed our last little bit of newborn-free time together.
At 11, we were in the hospital. I was getting tired. You talked me through Hypnobirthing scripts to help me relax. You told me I was doing great. You asked me if I needed anything. You told me I could do this. You held my hand. I was glad you were there.
At 12, I quietly told you I was ready to push. You got up and told the nurses I was ready and needed the midwife. Then you came back to my side so I wasn't alone.
By 12:15, I was pushing. My water broke while I pushed and nearly soaked you and the midwife. We all laughed. A few minutes later, I told you I was going to pass out. You and the midwife calmed me down and told me how to breathe. I was scared. You helped me stay sane.
By 12:45, Baby Girl was crowning. I've never been in so much pain in my life. I told you I couldn't do it anymore. You told me I could. You held my hand. You knew I was strong enough even when I felt like I had nothing left to give.
Eleven minutes later, she was born. You made sure she was okay. You made sure I was okay. I had done it, and you were there for me the whole time. You were my safe place.
Three years later, I brought Sweet Boy and Baby Girl to your apartment and left. I've had to find a new safe place - admittedly, a better one, because God is a better safe place than any human ever could be.
But I still miss my old safe place sometimes.
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