Facts and Feelings

The other day, I was accused of debating based on my feelings, not on facts. This made me mad. Granted, I was already having a grouchy day, but it stung. I felt like I was being told that my arguments and opinions weren't valid because they weren't based on hard facts.

Well, damn it. Here came the big old Failure Monster again, laughing in my face and poking me with his stupid stick. Shut up, Failure Monster. I hate you.

For a while, I tried to validate myself. "Well, I simply operate from a position of theory, not hard facts. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different. It's not that my arguments are invalid, they're just not how everyone wants to argue. Whatever. I'm still smart."

And that's the issue. I was feeling like my intelligence and capability were under attack. When really, what this person was saying is that more is needed. I think my instincts and insights are good, but that's not all there is to life. It's important to be empathetic, but it's also important to look at the hard evidence of history, so that I can learn and gain a broader perspective.

I have always hated research. I've often felt like, "I'm going to do all this work, gather all this information to argue my point, and someone else is going to come along with research to support their opposing viewpoint. So what is the freaking point? If there's 'research' to support every single side of an issue, what is the point??"

I'm still working on that. I'm still trying to overcome my hatred of research and gain a true appreciation for its value. I feel stupid admitting that I hate research and feel like facts are practically useless. But that's where I'm at, and acknowledging it is better than sticking my head in the sand.

Maybe I'm ignorant and foolish. But I don't want to stay that way. I want to learn. I want to be insightful as well as educated.

Knowledge is power. I want to empower myself. So here we go, another adventure has begun.