Fear

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This one's a little dark. But sometimes I am dark. I am human and humans get a little dark sometimes. I am and will be okay. But I can feel and I will feel and I will never again apologize for feeling. Please don't apologize to me because I am feeling. Please don't panic and try to make me better. I want to feel. I love this and hate it at the same time. I need this.

I feel naked
Alone
Afraid

Afraid to feel
Afraid to hurt
Afraid to cry

Afraid that I'm weak
Afraid of that voice
That tells me I can't
I never could and I never will

Afraid that I'm strong
And strong means that
I shouldn't be crying
That my tears are little lies
Sliding down my face

Afraid that I'm all wrong
That I've just been hurting everyone
This whole time

Afraid to be right
Because what if I am?
And the people I've chosen
Don't like it?
Don't like me?

Afraid to be me
To trust myself
Because what if
I'm the only one I can trust?

Afraid to cry too loudly
Too visibly
Because someone will tell me
That I'm wrong to cry

Or they'll tell me I'm wrong
To do whatever it was
That made me cry
Maybe they're right

Afraid that it's wrong to feel
But I want to feel
I need to
I can't make myself stop feeling

Afraid that I've ruined myself
By scolding myself for feeling
All those years

Afraid to be alone
Afraid to trust
Afraid to become a toy
A plaything

Afraid to feel
Afraid to love
Afraid to be loved.





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