March 12th
9 years ago today I had my first kiss.
It was awkward (read: I was awkward), and I'm not sure how much a tiny peck on the lips actually counts, but it was still a big moment for me.
I'd promised myself I wouldn't kiss someone till I could say that I loved him. I was 18 and I was in love for the first time.
A year later on this day, I went through the temple for myself (it's a Mormon thing). I still say that was one of the best days of my life. The temple is incredibly important to me. It feels like home.
So March 12th has been a big day for me. In 2008 I knew I loved a man for the first time. In 2009, I learned what heaven on earth really feels like.
This year, I find myself "alone" - divorced from that first love, missing another that I can never have, waiting on a third that may or may not actually come. But I don't feel lonely. My relationships with God and myself are better than ever. I have opened myself up to the universe and to others in a deeper way than I ever have before. I'm finally starting to see myself and others for who we truly are. My ability to connect is many times stronger than it used to be.
I may be single, I may hurt sometimes, but I am less lonely than I've been in a long time. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
It was awkward (read: I was awkward), and I'm not sure how much a tiny peck on the lips actually counts, but it was still a big moment for me.
I'd promised myself I wouldn't kiss someone till I could say that I loved him. I was 18 and I was in love for the first time.
A year later on this day, I went through the temple for myself (it's a Mormon thing). I still say that was one of the best days of my life. The temple is incredibly important to me. It feels like home.
So March 12th has been a big day for me. In 2008 I knew I loved a man for the first time. In 2009, I learned what heaven on earth really feels like.
This year, I find myself "alone" - divorced from that first love, missing another that I can never have, waiting on a third that may or may not actually come. But I don't feel lonely. My relationships with God and myself are better than ever. I have opened myself up to the universe and to others in a deeper way than I ever have before. I'm finally starting to see myself and others for who we truly are. My ability to connect is many times stronger than it used to be.
I may be single, I may hurt sometimes, but I am less lonely than I've been in a long time. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Comments
Post a Comment